Time Travel Stuff

[Bruce Brakel]

This is from another message board I frequent when I've got the Temporal-Internet link working properly:

International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War
Page 263

11/15/2104
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.

At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote:
Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what's the harm?

At 18:33:10, SilverFox316 wrote:
Easy for you to say, BigChill, since to my recollection you've never volunteered to go back and fix it. You think I've got nothing better to do?

11/16/2104
At 10:15:44, JudgeDoom wrote:
Good news! I just left a French battlefield in October 1916, where I shot dead a young Bavarian Army messenger named Adolf Hitler! Not bad for my first time, no? Sic semper tyrannis!

At 10:22:53, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1916 France I come, having at the last possible second prevented Hitler's early demise at the hands of JudgeDoom and, incredibly, restrained myself from shooting JudgeDoom and sparing us all years of correcting his misguided antics. READ BULLETIN 1147, PEOPLE!

At 15:41:18, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: issues related to Hitler's service in the Bavarian Army ought to go in the World War I forum.

11/21/2104
At 02:21:30, SneakyPete wrote:
Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler's admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers?

At 02:29:17, SilverFox316 wrote:
All right; that's it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil, I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I'm looking at you, SneakyPete). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture?

At 02:29:49, SilverFox316 wrote:
PS to SneakyPete: your Hitler paintings aren't worth anything, schmuck, since you probably brought them directly here from 1907, which means the paint's still fresh. Freaking n00b.

At 07:55:03, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Amen, SilverFox316. Although, point of order, issues relating to early 1900s Vienna should really go in that forum, not here. This has been a recurring problem on this forum.

11/26/2104
At 18:26:18, Jason440953 wrote:
SilverFox316, you seem to know a lot about the rules; what are your thoughts on traveling to, say, Braunau, Austria, in 1875 and killing Alois Hitler before he has a chance to father Adolf? Mind you, I'm asking out of curiosity alone, since I already went and did it.

At 18:42:55, SilverFox316 wrote:
Jason440953, see Bylaw 7, which states that all IATT rulings regarding historical persons apply to ancestors as well. I post this for the benefit of others, as I already made this clear to young Jason in person as I was dragging him back from 1875 by his hair. Got that? No ancestors. (Though if anyone were to go back to, say, Moline, Illinois, in, say, 2080 or so, and intercede to prevent Jason440953's conception, I could be persuaded to look the other way.)

At 21:19:17, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: discussions of nineteenth–century Austria and twenty–first–century Illinois should be confined to their respective forums.

12/01/2104
At 15:56:41, AsianAvenger wrote:
FreedomFighter69, JudgeDoom, SneakyPete, Jason440953, you're nothing but a pack of racists. Let the light of righteousness shine upon your squalid little viper's nest!

At 16:40:17, BigTom44 wrote:
Well, here we frickin' go.

At 16:58:42, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Racist? For killing Hitler? WTF?

At 17:12:52, SaucyAussie wrote:
AsianAvenger, you're not rehashing that whole Nagasaki issue again, are you? We just got everyone calmed down from last time.

At 17:22:37, LadyJustice wrote:
I'm with SaucyAussie. AsianAvenger, you're making even less sense than usual. What gives?

At 18:56:09, AsianAvenger wrote:
What gives is everyone's repeated insistence on a course of action which, even if successful, would only save a few million Europeans. It would be no more trouble to travel to Fuyuanshui, China, in 1814 and kill Hong Xiuquan, thus preventing the Taiping Rebellion of the mid–nineteenth century and saving fifty million lives in the process. But, hey, what are fifty million yellow devils more or less, right, guys? We've got Poles and Frenchmen to worry about.

At 19:01:38, LadyJustice wrote:
Well, what's stopping you from killing him, AsianAvenger?

At 19:11:43, AsianAvenger wrote:
Only to have SilverFox316 undo my work? What's the point?

At 19:59:23, SilverFox316 wrote:
Actually, it seems like a pretty good idea to me, AsianAvenger. No complications that I can see.

At 20:07:25, Big Chill wrote:
Go for it, man.

At 20:11:31, AsianAvenger wrote:
Very well. I shall return in mere moments, the savior of millions!

At 20:14:17, LadyJustice wrote:
Just checked the timeline; congrats on your success, AsianAvenger!

12/02/2104
At 10:52:53, LadyJustice wrote:
AsianAvenger?

At 11:41:40, SilverFox316 wrote:
AsianAvenger, we need your report, buddy.

At 17:15:32, SilverFox316 wrote:
Okay, apparently AsianAvenger was descended from Hong Xiuquan. Any volunteers to go back and stop him from negating his own existence?

12/10/2104
At 09:14:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Anyone?

At 09:47:13, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:
Point of order: this discussion belongs in the Qing Dynasty forum. We're adults; can we keep sight of what's important around here?

[Bruce Brakel]

I might have posted this link before, or maybe I posted it sometime in the future.

http://344design.typepad.com/photos/timetravel/01epttmmarquee.html

[Dan Michler]

Mirth, is there a way I can make it so this thread is blocked from me ever seeing it again?

[pickax]

All you need to do is go back in time and sever Bruce's Temporal-Internet link.

[mirth]

oh, this is good stuff.

[Chainmeister]

I could have sworn I read that next week.

[Bruce Brakel]

This is amusing.  It is the crib notes version of one of the best time travel paradox stories ever written:

http://abyss.uoregon.edu/~js/glossary/grandfather_paradox.html

[stpitner]

Bruce something tells me you'd enjoy playing the card game Chrononauts.  You take on the identity of various time traveler's trying to patch the space-time continuum to what your own reality had happen.  But you're also competing against other time traveler's who are also trying to get back to their own universe.  So what you have to do is create changes at key points in history (eg. Hitler does not come into power) and at that point it creates a paradox with World War II.  You then try to patch that spot in history with a different event - what happened in your own history, and make it back home.  It's quite fun

[Bruce Brakel]

Kira is building a time machine so she can play Kelsey straight up, instead of Kelsey having the four-year age advantage.  Kira, at 14, is 65 ratings points better than Kelsey was at 14.  Anyway all she needs to complete the machine is a quantum sigularity, so if you see one cheap on e-bay...

[stpitner]

need a flux capacitor while you're at it?  I might have one lying around...

[Bruce Brakel]

At 14 she's not old enough to drive anything 88 miles per hour.  She's going to need to go with the quantum singularity.  Or a chroniton particle generator. 

This reminds me of a funny story.  We were driving past a construction company.  They had hand made a sign by spray painting a sheet of plywood in an effort to find a cheap, used back hoe and a generator.  A wise guy altered the sign by adding two Ls.  Kelsey says to me, because she has something like 20-5 vision and can read signs from about two miles away, "Just when you get over the irrational belief that there are space aliens stranded on this planet living among us, then you see something like this:"

WANTED: USED
BLACK HOLE
GENERATOR
WILL PAY CASH

[Bruce Brakel]

Just updating the time travel thread.  There's a lot of this going around.  http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=851817&Main=851797#Post851817

[the_lung]

I don't know which is worse - the conspiracy theories or the time travel rumors. Better call in Oliver Stone to sort this one out. 

[Bruce Brakel]

We finally found a pretty good source for parts.  http://www.davesplanet.net/store/  All this stuff is banned for sale on earth, but the proprietors seem flexible. 

[Chainmeister]

Well, there really is no longer an excuse for being late to anything.  Both time and distance just don't seem to be the barriers they used to be.  If you can afford the technology you can get some extra sleep.  Of course, if you use this stuff to go back to right before you missed that putt you will violate the Prime Directive.

[Bruce Brakel]

Well, there really is no longer an excuse for being late to anything.  Both time and distance just don't seem to be the barriers they used to be.  If you can afford the technology you can get some extra sleep.  Of course, if you use this stuff to go back to right before you missed that putt you will violate the Prime Directive.

If you were to go back in time to right before you missed the putt, suddenly there would be two of you there, having an argument about who was the real you.  The future you would be trying to explain that both of you are you but you're from the future so you already have experience with that putt.  I don't know that you're going to increase your odds of making the putt with all that distraction.  And then the PDGA would make a rule about overlapping timelines, apply it retroactively, and DQ you.   

If you could go back in time, convince yourself that you're you from the future, and inform yourself about something so you'd make a different choice, when would you go to? 

1977. 

[stpitner]

Well, there really is no longer an excuse for being late to anything.  Both time and distance just don't seem to be the barriers they used to be.  If you can afford the technology you can get some extra sleep.  Of course, if you use this stuff to go back to right before you missed that putt you will violate the Prime Directive.

If you were to go back in time to right before you missed the putt, suddenly there would be two of you there, having an argument about who was the real you.  The future you would be trying to explain that both of you are you but you're from the future so you already have experience with that putt.  I don't know that you're going to increase your odds of making the putt with all that distraction.  And then the PDGA would make a rule about overlapping timelines, apply it retroactively, and DQ you.   

If you could go back in time, convince yourself that you're you from the future, and inform yourself about something so you'd make a different choice, when would you go to? 

1977. 

I think somewhere in the discussion over the putt you'd have a thirty seconds infraction.

[Chainmeister]

I still see value in speaking to future me. Future me would say, "Dave, you are going to hit the side of the basket" and present me can raise my release a bit and make the shot.l 

1977 would not be a bad time to return to so I could correct all the stupid things I have done since getting out of high school. However, if there was any risk that my two daughters would not be born I would stick with what I have and save my time travel for cheating on my disc golf game.