Music

[Brian]

Who does not listen to jam bands, besides me?

[Bruce Brakel]

I'm a step beyond not listening.  What's a jam band?  I'll go google it...

[Bruce Brakel]

Why I hate Jam Bands
By Christian Finnegan

Dear lord, do I hate "jam bands". What is a jam band, you ask? Think Phish. Think Widespread Panic. Think any number of bands who stepped into the smelly breach once Jerry Garcia kicked the bucket. Earlier today, I was doing a little online research (Read: Killing time under the guise of 'creativity') and I stumbled onto a website devoted to jam bands and the unfocused politically retarded wannabe hippies who love them. After a while, I started to notice ow al of the band names had a simlar ring to them. There are a couple of loose guidelines for giving your little cadre of neckbearded jackholes a functional Jam Band name:

* Take two seemingly unrelated words and put them next to eachother. One word should have evoke something vaguely mystical and/or philosophical. The second word should be "funny", e.g. 'turnip' or 'penguin'. If the funny word comes first, the second word should describe a grouping of human beings, such as 'patrol', 'platoon' or 'collective'.

* If you want to give your band a three word name, the middle word should definitely be 'funk'. If you want to get crazy, 'groove' and 'vibe' are acceptable substitutes. However, the last word should still describe a grouping of human beings.

* If you insist on having a one word jam band name, smush two words together. And for god's sake, make sure the first of those two words is 'soul'.

As a fun little game, see if you can separate the actual jam band names from the ones I've made up. Winner gets a Tootsie Roll.

THE NAMES:

1. Emergent Evolution

2. Deep Banana Blackout

3. Metaphysical Spongebath

4. Jerkwater Express

5. Dr. Stickybud

6. Global Funk Council

7. Freedom Funk Ensemble

8. Animatronic Funk Brigade

9. Granola Funk Express

10. Modern Groove Syndicate

11. Galactic Vibe Attache

12. Cousin Fungus

13. Dinosaur Construction Unit

14. Fudgsicle Wormhole

15. Ominous Seapods

16. Hypnotic Clambake

17. SoulHat

18. Soulfarm

19. Soulive

20. Soulfoot

21. Soulwork

22. Souly Soul Funk Contingency

23. Loser McIneedashower

Good luck!

[Dan Michler]

Thanks for the educational post Bruce!  

[mirth]

Jam bands are only a portion of what I listen to. I'll listen to pretty much whatever's on, if its country I'll try to take advantage of the first opportunity I get to change it.

[Jon Brakel]

I do not generally listen to jam bands but I do think they have artistic and musical credibility (as a whole, I'm sure that some do and some don't when looked at individually).

[D]

if its country I'll try to take advantage of the first opportunity I get to change it.

I've been listening to more country lately.

US 99.5!!!  

Some great melodies and I love the story country tells. So what's wrong with country? Other than the fact that it's underrated.

To each his own, but I'm just wondering    

[airspuds]

whats the old joke

what do u get when u play country backwards

girlfriend comes back,  dog resurrected,  lottery winner
car runs


lol

i love rock n roll

[Chainmeister]

lol indeed spuds.  And when you play rock and roll backwards Paul is still alive.

[D]

Ignorance...

*sigh*

[D]

'Spuds, when was the last time you listened to country music?

Anytime outside the past 20 years doesn't count


My mom is the same way, "All country is about is trucks and whisky and women leaving"

Shame she hasn't listened to country in the past 10 years or she'd see how ignorant she really was

[Dan Michler]

Everytime I see Shania Twain's body on TV I think country is all right with me!